Monday, March 24, 2014

Why I stay home....

      Typically my day starts out waking up to an alarm clock of a little voice saying, "Mommy, I'm hungry".  Oh and let me not forget to mention my alarm clock also has this built in feature that pokes my face until my eyes open.  It is a beautiful feature because then I don't have to worry about ever pressing the snooze button.  My alarm clock also has a name: Sage.  Yes I am talking about my daughter who has entered the phase known to most people as "the terrible two's".
    My day of course does not end there, it is filled with plenty of "No, let me do it myself"  Or "Mommy, I am going to go outside, and you WILL stay in the house" and what was my favorite she said today, "Bexi! I am talking to Daddy and you need to wait until I'm finished before you talk to him."  Lol.
    I change diapers, wash lots of dishes, get on the floor and once again humor my daughter and build legos with her even though I would much rather read a book or watch a show while she plays quietly (she rarely plays quietly and even more rarely will just go play by herself, she needs constant attention), and sure enough it is another race with her giggling while running away and me almost losing it while trying to put a shirt on her head.
    So why do I stay home???  Well to tell you the truth, I wouldn't want it any other way.  I LOVE being a stay at home mom.  I had no idea when I would write this post that I would get tears in my eyes, sheesh!
     I remember one day with Sage when she was 4 months old, she was crying and crying and I had no idea what to do.  I knew she was fed, had a clean diaper, I tried a binky, wrapping her up...I tried it all and finally I decided that even though it was snowing outside I was going to bundle up and take her out to see if that would help (p.s. we lived in Logan, Ut at the time). In my journal on February 29, 2012 I recorded about that moment, "Today Sage has been kind of fussy and unhappy because she got immunizations.  i always want to remember this.  I put her in her big red sweater and we sat outside and watched it snow.  She likes sitting outside so she stopped crying.  It was so wonderful.  We just both sat there with her in my arms on my lap and watched the snow fall and the cars drive by.  She is so special to me.  I wish she didn't have to grow up.  I love having my little Sage baby."
     Now of course, she has to grow up.  But in spite of her pant size changing from 12 months to 2T I am enjoying every moment, well most moments.  I remember that day being so hard but it also brought a special memory that I never wanted to forget.  Being a Mom is so so fulfilling.
     I have moments that are hard everyday, sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, but those ugly moments always end and the special moments keep on coming and I want to be there when they do.    

   Love, Becky joy


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