Sunday, August 3, 2014

I don't want power, I want peace.

     I just got home from a fireside that was such a treat for my spirit to indulge on.  Emily Freeman, an LDS author, was the speaker and she spoke on peace.  Something she touched on in her talk was the story in the New Testament found in Mark 4:37-40 when the apostles with the Savior on a ship awoke Him in fear asking Him to save their ship from the disaster of the storm.
     I remember reading these same versus one day as I was studying this chapter in the New Testament 2 years ago (ask me why I remember the exact time frame, and the only thing I can answer is the people in my life at the time and the apartment we lived in) and I was amazed at the different message I got as an adult reading this story than I did when I was a child hearing the story.
     As a child I remember learning this story and thinking to myself,  if I have great faith then I will have lots of power to move mountains and to calm storms!!!  Which ya know, is true but as I read it on my bed in our apartment in Houston, Texas 2 years ago I remember reading the words from versus :37-38 that said, "And there arose a great storm of wind , and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.  And he (talking about the Savior) was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow..."
     Those scriptures amazed me! Here the Savior is sleeping in a storm!  And when the Savior asked the other men on the ship after calming the sea, the questions, "Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?"  I felt as though the Savior was looking at me and personally saying, "Becky why are ye so fearful, how is it that ye have no faith?"
     I decided I wanted to be like the Savior and not because He could move mountains, walk on water, or calm seas  The fact is, I didn't care at all about the part of Him calming the sea anymore, what really stuck out to me was that He had so much faith that He could sleep on the ship whether the storm was present or not.  I craved that peace because it was most certainly missing from my life at the time.  I didn't want power, I wanted peace.
     Looking back, I can't help but be thankful I learned it is possible to find peace through storms (or trials). I am most certainly not to the point where I could sleep in a flooding ship being blown around at sea, but right now I have so much peace in my life when uncertainty is also present.  In fact, I have never felt so much peace in my life as I do now (and I am pregnant so that is saying a lot), but I think it is because the Lord has never given me any reason not to trust Him, and I allow that knowledge I have gained to stay with me each day.  

    Becky joy

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