Potty Training

     Potty Training: trying to teach a child the way they have been doing things, and in fact the way you encouraged them to do things the moment you placed a diaper on a very specific area of the body since they were born, is actually wrong.

     Although it has been a long process, I am happy to announce Sage is potty trained!!!  This last time (since I have attempted at least 3 times before) was super easy! She was actually ready.  So how did I do it??  I want to share because when I started the process I wanted to know what other people did and everyone seemed vague and gave me one liners such as:  "don't leave the house for 3 days and have your child run naked,"  or "wait until they potty train themselves"  or "buy a potty training doll and lots of juice".... I was super confused because I felt like that was only part of the story.

     So this is what I did.  This might sound a little weird but Sage was usually in the bathroom with me anyway so when I was going to the bathroom I just started explaining to her what I was doing so that she would start to understand what going potty actually was and she could define it I guess.  I started doing this around 20 months old.
     Then when she turned 2 my sister got her a potty, some underwear, and I got Sage a doll that went on the potty.  We made a potty chart for Sage and for the doll and every time the doll went on the potty she got a sticker on her chart.  Sage didn't seem too interested in going herself, even though I asked quite often, but I never forced anything.
     Then a few months ago I decided to spend the day with her on the potty so that she could understand it even better.  I didn't make it stressful at all and we read books, watched a movie, colored, painted nails, and just spent the day in the bathroom.  I would have her sit on the potty for 15 minutes then give her a ten minute break (and of course this is when she would go and pee somewhere on the floor) and then back on for 15 minutes.  After a long day of doing it she has understood going on the potty since and randomly would just go on the potty after that.  I think we had one success that day and it was really exciting and I called everyone, but of course 2 seconds after I hung up the phone she had an accident again.  Oh p.s. I handled accidents by having her help me clean up the accident.  I found that if I got mad at her then we were both stressed and she would just have more accidents than successes, but if I treated accidents like it wasn't a big deal then she would have more successes than accidents.
    After that day I decided to go along with the whole "potty train yourself method" and just let her use the potty whenever she wanted but if she desired her diaper back then I would just let her have it back. Well since no one has explained to me what "potty training themselves" in detail meant, Sage would often use the potty by herself with no one telling her to do so and then I would stick underwear on her hoping that she would just keep going on the potty but then get stressed out when I was scrubbing p$#% out of the floor. So since  I was stressed I was  a little inconsistent and kept changing her from a diaper to underwear and vice versa.  I am not sure if I did the right thing or not there but if she had an accident and I was feeling impatient then I felt it was better to switch her back to a diaper than to get mad and make us both hate the process.
    So this last time (starting a week ago Monday) I decided to just put her in underwear for good and I prayed a lot that I would be patient with accidents.  The thing is I felt like she was going on the potty enough without me ever saying anything that she was potty training herself she just needed to get used to the idea of having underwear on all the time.  I am not sure what was different about this time but I was super patient and she hardly had any accidents.  I have not stuck a diaper back on her since the Monday I began and now I am happy to officially announce she is potty trained!!!  We haven't had any accidents for the past couple days.  Although I am aware that doesn't mean the end of accidents, I am just happy she understands the process so well that now diapers are not needed.
     It took a lot of time, like I said I started explaining the process when she was around 20 months, but I feel like there are a few key points that worked for us:
     
      *If I got mad then she would have more accidents.  If I was patient with accidents and remained calm then she would have more success.
      *You can start teaching them about going on the potty whenever you want but don't force them to use the potty until they are ready.
      *It's okay to go back and forth if you feel like it is too stressful.  It needs to be fun so even if they are showing signs of being ready, as a parent you need to feel ready as well.  Prayer helps a ton!
     *I didn't mention this above but watch lots of shows or read lots of books about going potty.  I am seriously convinced the show "Daniel Tiger" did a lot better job at making Sage excited about going on the potty than I did with a doll and some stickers.
     * Have fun and enjoy the experience!

Please feel free to ask questions!

Love,
   Becky joy

    

Who is better: Man or Woman?

     So this week my family and I are in Cali with the Southern California city pass and since we got to spend  so much time waiting in lines at Disneyland some interesting subjects sprouted with siblings.  One of the conversations being a mini debate (one brother versus 3 sisters, I'll let you decide which side won the debate) about, "who is better, men or women?".
     Now of course amidst the silly banter with my brother I had to argue that girls are better, but to tell you the truth I really don't believe that. My real is opinion is, it is not a competition, neither is better.  We have different strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other.   We need each other.
     My husband is so good at helping me at taking problems one day at a time while at the same time I help him with problem solving by looking to the future.  We balance each other in so many ways.   I am so thankful I have him.

Love, Becky joy

It's a......

It's a BOY!!!

   Okay, I have to be honest, I was shocked by the news.  I have been  basically calling my baby a girl since I found out I was expecting, oops sorry little guy.  I still am not sure if reality has hit that I am having a boy instead of a girl but it was fun today looking at all the little boy clothes.  I went right to DI and found a bunch of adorable clothes there and then I stopped at Walmart where they surprisingly also had some cute things.   

     Now the big question is, what in the world should we name him???  Weston and I seriously can't agree on anything when it comes to male world of names.  He claims I like girly boy names (if that even makes sense).  Well I suppose we are going to have to hit the baby books. 

    

Love,

     Becky joy

 

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

     When I was in college I had a great opportunity to teach many lessons to the Relief Society in the ward I was in.  I remember teaching about faith and describing faith as, "moving forward with the Lord when it just doesn't make sense."  If only I knew then how true those words really were.      A few days ago I was reading a blog I follow and the post was about a Mother who lost her little boy from a car crash.  He doesn't look much older than Sage and that night I cried myself to sleep  thinking about how sad I felt for that Mother.
     I know the atonement is real and there is help to heal but I still felt so sad for her because it would be so hard and take a lot of time to be able to find that peace that comes from the atonement, at least I felt like that's how it would be if I was in her situation.  Please pray for this family.  I know we all could use extra prayers in our life at times and I am sure it would help her so much.
     I am not always sure why the Lord allows trials, I seriously had to wrap my mind around that families situation but really it just didn't make sense to me.  I know the Lord knows what He's doing when he allows life to happen, but I don't always know the "why", and that is where faith comes in.
   To learn more about this family and to donate go here.

Love,
    Becky joy

Making special memories on a small budget

     Today I was watching the show "Cake Boss" and a Mother on the show decided to throw a party for her son who was having a hard time and she got him one of the cakes of course from the store Carlos Bakery.  I saw the joy and surprise on the little boys face when his cake was delivered and then I saw the joy on the Mother's face and I thought to myself, "that must be so special for that Mother to see her son with such joy.  I will never be able to make special moments for my children like that."
     Then my next thought was,  "actually of course I can make special moments for Sage, she doesn't need a big cake covered in pop tarts and candy to be happy, all she needs is me taking time with her."
     My husband is such a good example of making special moments for Sage:  he reads books with her daily, he'll come home and have a tea party with her, he'll sit next to her and watch a show with her of her choice,  he will stop what he is doing and play hide and seek on command (after all she can be quite a bossy little girl), he basically gives her his time.  I am sure if we got her a fabulous cake it would be a special memory for her but I think she is having lots of special memories made everyday with her Daddy (and they don't cost a dime).
     So today as I was mopping the floor, Sage came out and asked if I wanted to make a craft with her (she was putting stickers on her toys), and where I would usually say, "I am mopping right now, maybe later"  (and later usually never comes when I say that)  I decided to instead stop what I was doing and make a craft with her.  I think my heart grew 3 times the size during that special moment and I could see the happiness she felt as I joined her.
     Even though it would be nice to spend lots of money for her, I more just want her to know how true the three words, "I love you" really are when I say them.

Love,
   Becky joy
   

Life is about how you handle plan B.

     While my husband and I were walking down main street in Moab window shopping, I saw a little sign that said, "Life is about how you handle plan B".  I seriously couldn't agree more!  I started to learn this lesson at a young age when my dream of being a cheer leader (please don't judge, my Dad used to take me to games with him when I was little and to tell you the truth I watched the dancers the whole time) just didn't happen.

     Later on when my husband and I were dating/engaged he talked a lot about going to law school and becoming a lawyer.  I was fine with that, I wasn't really sure what my life would be like being married to a lawyer but I was glad there was a plan.  Well after a couple of years of talking about law school, my husband had been doing more research on the career and realized he did not want to be a lawyer.  Since then, there has been no plan.  Just living day by day with the question in our minds, "what should we do next?"   

      I really never imagined this for my life.  I am very different from my husband and I suppose I give myself a timeline on when I need to figure things out.  He takes things slower and doesn't want to just jump into anything because if he ended up deciding he didn't like it he would have wasted time and money.  I think he has gained a fear of choosing a career that he will have to do for the rest of his life because his Dad didn't really enjoy his job.  Through plan A not panning out I have come to get to know a thing I have often heard people call "a virtue": patience.

     Patience has become my plan B.  So how am I handling plan B?   I am not going to lie, I hate plan B.  But it is a blessing in many ways, because it has caused me to fall on my knees many times and remember my Heavenly Father.  Yes I see other couples younger than me, just barely married who already have things figured out, who are buying houses, who are settled, and sometimes I just cry.  But I never forget that no matter how many times I have to pack up and move again leaving friends behind and wondering how the next place will be, I have so many more blessings to count than trials.  

      Just to name one blessing in fact, I have always had a dream of traveling and being a public speaker, and for those of you who don't move a lot, let me just tell you how excited a Bishop gets when he sees new faces enter a ward.  I have spoken many times, sharing my testimony to hundreds of people.  And plus I will never forget my wonderful experience speaking with an Apostle, Elder Perry. God is good to me.  

     Love,

        Becky joy

     

Our Moab Adventure!

     For our 5 year anniversary, we decided to do something a little bit bigger than our usual go out to breakfast then husband leaving immediately after to go to work tradition.  So this year we decided to spend a weekend in Moab camping, river rafting, and hiking!  It was just the two of us and I loved every minute of it!

When we first arrived we went to our campsite (which by the way was not at all what I imagined, we were pretty much stacked in right next to many campsites) we pulled out the tent we borrowed from Weston's parents only to discover we had no poles, lol!   I am pretty thankful for Facebook right now because I posted about our no pole tent on FB and immediately got a response from a former roommate of mine from  College who let us borrow her tent for the 2 nights.  Such a lifesaver from death by cotton and caterpillars (and our close knit campers staring at us).   Thank you Amberlee!

After our wonderful tent mishap, we spent the rest of the day hiking! 

My favorite place we hiked was probably the Delicate Arch.  I know that is kind of cliche and unoriginal to say but it was so peaceful there even though we weren't alone.  I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful the sky and mountains looked behind the arch and how God is an artist.  Our world is so beautiful.  

On Saturday we went River Rafting!  Which by the way, the man in the front of our boat (the one not rowing) is from ABC news and we are going to be on the news Tuesday!  So make sure to watch because I will making a celebrity appearance.  Please no autographs at this time. ;)

While we were River Rafting, Sage was having a great time with my family as well!

This was such a fun trip and I recommend it to anyone.  It was so good for Weston and I to have some time alone!  I love him so much and I am excited for all the adventures that we will continue together for millions and millions of years to come. 

Love,

Becky joy

P.S. I think it is so cute how Weston loves to take pictures.  That is all.